Modestine

by Jefferson Fox

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1.
From this make-shift motel I used to call home a level of Hell full of All alone I broadcast a mayday to the Heavens with a phonograph A dirty needle in a crooked arm spin the Forty Five Rhythm, a necromancers charm to bring himself back to life Dying slow from living fast It's just me and Jesus and Johnny Cash the phone it won't ring no matter how you stare I call out to angels who are not there I search for a cause that I could call myself a Martyr the J.C.'s they sing their songs and tell each other stories about the women they deny knowing and the Unwanted Glory you're walkin a line unless you're walking on the water Dying slow from living fast It's just me and Jesus and Johnny Cash Me and the Boys we stay up all night drinkin whiskey and water, and wine and the white light it wont make it's way out of that busted, old television the picture is fuzzy but all Three of us know The Good Book, a Drink and the Radio will take away the madness even if it don't take you where you're wishing From this make-shift motel I used to call home a level of Hell full of All alone I broadcast a mayday to the Heavens with a phonograph A dirty needle in a crooked arm spin the Forty Five Rhythm, a necromancers charm to bring himself back to life Dying slow from living too fast It's just me and Jesus and Johnny Cash
2.
Neighbors 03:35
what the neighbors must say bout the slammin of doors the silent treatment and the screaming of course gravel in the air as she speeds away what the neighbors must say the neighbors must say the Joneses and the Walters they have they've seen it all before their closest neighbor is the oldest child in the bedroom right next door in behind a wave and a smile their eyes give them away no hope left and I can only guess what the neighbors must say the neighbors must say and he's considered taking his life but who would be left to pray for his child or for his poor wife what the neighbors must say what the neighbors must say about the fear and the lies the sarcasm in their angry goodbyes the state of a union gone separate ways what the neighbors must say the neighbors must say and he's considered taking his life but who would be left to pray for his child or for his poor wife what the neighbors must say I've considered taking my life but who would be left to pray for my child or for my poor wife what the neighbors must say
3.
There's nobody home in this house a monument to the days we shared colors of the lives we picked out little trinkets everywhere the photos of your face in the places we stayed they're all more beautiful for you and the flowers call me home when you're away the same we you used to and i wish i had been a better lover for you i wish you could believe the words i say but the stranger i turned into he stole away my language and in translation things get lost along the way along the way there''s a box of jewelry on a stand by the bed full of things that sparkle on your skin but you burn so bright i have to turn my head i never see any of them and the treasures we brought back from foreign shores i know now what they are the remedies to troubles that lay outside our door and my hope that you don't go too far and i wish i had been a better lover for you i wish you could believe the words i say but the stranger i turned into he stole away my language and in translation things get lost along the way along the way alone is a sad, a sad place to be not quite as bad as keeping the wrong company so i'll write you another love song in this strange language of mine and pray you understand even though i know you won't belive
4.
My Girl 04:02
when the wind takes the clatter of the trees and the cold takes the green from the world and I'm all gone except in stories and songs you will still be my girl when a laugh comes between a tear and a scream in slow motion a dancing dress it twirls alone with memories and broken old dreams you will, you'll still be my girl you'll still be my girl when the Earth stops turning and the music dies like some broken, old Tilt-A-Whirl and I've left town with some intergalactic carnival you will, you'll still be my girl you'll still be my girl when you curse my name and you set fire to the photos when you smash your pearls when the flowers all die and the angels cry you'll still be my girl cause I loved you when the summer children they played I loved you before your fist ever curled and you won't miss me and you'll never kiss me but you will, you'll still be my girl you'll still be my girl when this only exists in my little mind when it's just a vision out on the hot highway oil when the Sirens drag me into the Sea you will you'll still be my Girl
5.
Shady Acres 04:03
when we're all gone the subdivisions they'll turn back into their titles when we're gone the land it'll stake it's own claim when we're all gone the animals they'll have their own houses and this old world will laugh as she forgets our names when we're all gone the coyotes they'll be sleeping on sofas when we're gone the bees will build their hives in Cadillacs and the monkeys will sleep on satin and the high-rises in Manhattan they'll be hundred story high...rabbitat when we're gone when there's no one left to sit on our asses and ride around on gas engines and mow the pretty grasses the birds will sing as the time it passes when we are all gone when we're all gone the concrete will be eaten by the weeds when we're all gone the oceans will be free of our disease when we're all gone the planet she'll get back up off her knees and breathe, and breathe when we're gone the ants will take the grocery stores when we're all gone there won't be any rich or any poor and the rats will make nests in the Italian handbags of the whores who entertained the politicians that brought us poverty and war when we're gone our good intentions they won't even make a sound when all the reasons that we needed them come crashing to the ground when we're gone we won't be missed no one to hope that we come back there'll be no proof that we existed except for plastic and Big Macs when we're all gone when there's no one left to sit on our asses and ride around on gas engines and mow the fuckin grass, well the birds will sing as the time it passes when we are all gone
6.
The Code 05:00
a dead man woke from slumber today from the dream that stole his rest away into a world screaming empty of any life he had known doors were locked and nobody talked they just stared into Code in their palms as they walked mothers were cold and children born grown he found religion to cling to for awhile he prayed to his God for just a smile or a hand to still his trembling he prayed for purpose But he'd lost his way and his hope and his mind he'd lost the memory of what he'd hoped to find he had lost himself when he ran off and he joined their circus He did his tricks and he served His time mixed potions up of his own design to cast out the Devils but they just filled him up instead so the branded the code into the palm of his hand the wandering and the Magic Sleep it began and he stumbled off into the land the Land of the Living Dead the cycle complete now the computers could eat and the programmers died because they failed to believe it once consumed by The Code the subject had nothing to offer it was the World you see not the Programmers at all She wanted us gone twisted our minds down small so we'd hand The Code off to our sons and our daughters your sons and my daughters my daughters my daughters
7.
Steady the room and give me just a minute to get my feet back under this old body and some spirits in it I can't move my arms I can just barely see would you hold up the bottle for me there's a place down in Texas I call 'Beggars Mill' where she tore out my heart Hell it might be up there still but she's in love in Birmingham as far as I know and me, I've become the scourge of this Border town down in Old Mexico So hold up the bottle for me put it to my lips and put me out of my, my misery If I could black out right about now I feel like the emptiness it might leave would you hold up the bottle for me for me I've got a picture of you from back before it's tucked away in that old Bible of mine I don't read much anymore I keep em both in the liquor cabinet in case I ever do need your help it gets hard to pour that last one all by myself So hold up the bottle for me put it to my lips and put me out of my, my misery If I could black out right about now I feel like the emptiness it might leave would you hold up the bottle hold up the bottle Oh hold up that bottle for me
8.
Its a long, long way to Louisville and a hard way to go she found out about you and now everybody knows you better take a plane 'cause you burned every bridge between here... here and home and the medicine you've been taking it just won't matter cause in your blood there is still proof you can burn the ground around where the sick ones, they gather but there is no cure for the truth if it's a fever you've been fighting you've always taken the whiskey for swallowing your pride you might try a beer if it don't get any worse than this then by all means, cigarettes man but what you gonna do if she reappears? because the medicine you've been taking it just won't matter cause in your blood there is still proof you can burn the ground around where the sick ones, they gather but there is no cure for the truth Its a long, long way to Louisville and a hard way to go she found out about you and now everybody knows you better take a plane 'cause you burned every bridge between here... here and home
9.
Goodbye 04:46
day after day weeks of walkin circles the siblings and their kids research and the uncomfortable silence not quite as bad as talkin bout it and when people get scared they hold each others hands you held mine cause you thought i was stronger than i really am but if I hadn't done it someone else would have if I hadn't done someone would have lied if I hadn't done it someone else would have ruined your Goodbye there's a lot of talk about time a lot of talk about dreams a lot of whispering and shouting as we come apart at the seams maybe the Winter will wipe us clean maybe the dirt will grow over by Spring maybe we'll unsee all we've seen undream all we've been it breaks my heart that your last words were "I don't want to die" a sad phrase to try to take the place of what should have been "Goodbye" and I swore we would talk again cause that's the kind of lie we tell around here I looked you right in the eye but if I hadn't done it someone else would have if I hadn't done someone would have lied if I hadn't done it someone else would have ruined your Goodbye if I hadn't done it someone else would have if I hadn't done someone would have lied if I hadn't done it someone else would have told you you were going to be fine

about

These songs and I have struggled to understand one another's needs for quite some time now. Many were recorded numerous times over a period of years. Modestine is the result of our compromises and growth. The album made itself a record about broken souls. I didn't mean for that to be the case...but I often don't mean for things to turn out the way they do. I hope you find some enjoyment in the collection.

credits

released August 1, 2018

Jefferson Fox - Vocals, all instruments ***, Recording, Mixing, Mastering
Zoe Fox- Backing vocals on Burn The Ground and Jesus and Johnny Cash
Joe Ayoub - Upright Bass on Jesus and Johnny Cash ***
Sharon Fox - Producer, assistant Mastering Engineer
Recorded at Freak Show Studio in Jackson Missouri
All songs written by Jefferson Fox
Ursidae Records 2018

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Jefferson Fox Jackson

I'm writing my own bio... I'm too old for this shit. - jefferson fox

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